scary...

I went to visit my cousin's boy at the hospital..with my other cousin..we went upto the kid's room , waited a while...then i remembered i had to get the last dose of the hep B vaccine so i decided to go downstairs to the emergency and get vaccinated ..As I was waiting there..this man was rushed in .. he had been shot .. the guy who carried him in was around 24 ..25 and his shirt was soaked in blood.. I couldnt see the man who had been shot .. cause as I turned to see what was happening he had already been taken in to the special care room...and as the doors closed the only thing I saw was the man's legs..there was another man who came in to the emergency after them he was shaking so bad .. and was crying ... he came and stood right next to me .. I stood there staring at him ..I wanted to go up to him ...reassure him ..tell him that everything would be okay .. tell himt o recite some ayat.. but I couldnt do anything ....and then the nurse called me to give me my shot...i followed her to the other room.. and when i got back ..the two men were calling people over the phone and the other man was stilling shaking pretty bad he couldnt even dial the numbers on his cell fone....one of the doctors came out of the room and he looked kind of relaxed and started asking questions abot how he was shot .. the men with him kept saying "pata nahin pata nahin" it was very clear they were trying tohide something....seeing the doc all at ease i assumed the man would be okay.. .. i left the emergency and came up to the room and described everything to my cousins .. we then into this small corridor outside our room .. which was just above the emergency and from where you could look down atthe entrance too..we were all standing there.. when one of the men came out and said he had expired...when he said "EXPIRED" i just froze...I was like he was alive just a while ago now and now he isnt anymore ..asleep forever ..never to wake up again...other male relatives had gathered too by then.. they all hug started crying.... then two women ran in .. they were"kahan hay woh ..kiya hua us ko ..kaisa hay woh" they constantly kept asking that ...first one of the men said "woh theek ha .under hay ..theek hay woh.. " but he apparently couldnt keep him calm then by the gesture of his hand as if saying gone told the women ... one of them started crying and screaming " mera bhai ..mera bhai"....oh LORD... it shook my insides...i quickly left the area and went into the room ..i could still hear their screams .. so i left the room and ran into the corridor..i kept walking here and there for a while and my cousin came looking for me and asked me if i was okay... and then asked me to come back into the room ..so i did that .. the screams had died down by now... we were sitting there...in silence.. no one was saying anythign to anyone.. and then.. . every thing I had seen and heard was coming back to me inflashes .. even though i was trying to stop ..but i couldnt... then somethign started happening to me...i was having difficulty breathing.. i felt as if i was gonna throw up.. and felt dizzy ..i felt i was gonna collapse... so I got up and informed my cousin's i was leaving .. i quickly left the room . he thought i was just going out for a walk or something but then he ran after me .. and asked me what was happening.. i said "i wanna go home" trying not to look at him .. because if i did i wouldve just started crying there... he asked me why and i said teh same thing again" i wanna go home" .. .. maybe he got a little idea of what was happening so he ran back into the room and got the keys to the car .. i had made it to the emergency by then .. i could see their family all gathered there.. i tried my best not to look at them as i passed the man soaked in blood.. by then my cousin had come after me.. he told me to wait while he ran to get the car ..but i didnt wanna stand there with all those people there so i follwed himt o the parking lot.. .. i didnt say anythign till i got in the car and then as I got into the car I started crying .. my cousin was taken back by this .. he was like mehwish whats wrong .. relax... but i kept crying i couldnt stop.. i was havign difficulty brathing too .. he said mehwish lets go to the emergency i said no... i wanna go home ..ididnt wanna go the emergency cause thats where the family was and where he was...and i knew i was having a panic attack i had to get away from it all .. as soon as possible.. my cousin rushed us back home.. there i collapsed on the bed..my khala helped me ,gave me a paper bag to breathe in to.. .. and explained it was all part of life.. but still i t took me about an hour to calm down.. but I was fine after that ...but it was all scary .. i guess.. the way the family was crying .. the way that man was shaking.... the fact that your alive one minute and your not the second...it was not a nice experience..Im studying to be a doc .. I dont know how i"ll handle this later... my cousin then took me for a drink afterwards....to help me relax..and he asked me the same thing ..and my answer was "i'll be the doc who deos ultrasound..there are no dead people there"..and he laughed so hard ....but seriously it was very scary and nerve wracking ..the whole experience..
May God keep all our loved ones safe..."